Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
