these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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