4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
