i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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