I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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