It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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