these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
