I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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