sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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