you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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