I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is her dick bigger than yours?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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