Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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