There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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