community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
