hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
