How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
