peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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