At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
