she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
