we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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