Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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