if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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