He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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