WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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