I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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