My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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