bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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