Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
love makes seman taste better
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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