Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
