She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
