I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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