So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize