Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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