Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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