problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
