you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
