i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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