What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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