Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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