PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
