I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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