Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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