I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
