I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
