if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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