pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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