Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
