It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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