we have officially lost it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
