this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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