I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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