Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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