I puked a lego.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
