but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Semen is not good for contacts.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
