is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
