well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
