she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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