I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
