so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
