We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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