I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
