I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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