got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
