Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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