i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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