Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
