is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
